As many of you know, Ben and I have been walking the road of “unique family planning” through adoption 🙂 This past Sunday, many people brought awareness for adoption/foster care through #orphansunday. Our church, Mission Community Church, highlighted an incredible ministry within our church walls, called “Esther’s Hope.” It’s a wonderful support and encouragement for families wanting to adopt or in the adoption process, as well as supporting families in the foster care system. Our hearts have been pulled in so many directions concerning orphans. Yes, we are adopting from Ethiopia and we could not be more excited to receive our little one. The process will take another 2 years, at the least. The waiting is difficult and at times you forget that there is a child on the other side of all the hoops you jump through. You get discouraged. Your heart aches. You see a little one from Ethiopia and burst into tears (yes, this happened to me in the middle of a restaurant!)
When Ben and I started dating, we discussed adoption as an option for us, whether or not we would have issues with getting pregnant. It’s always been apart of our hearts. Orphans have my heart. They have Ben’s heart. We did have issues getting pregnant. 2 failed IVF cycles, a miscarriage…and now we are here. We both had to search our hearts to make sure we weren’t approaching adoption as a consolation prize. We couldn’t make that next step until our heart’s ache was to adopt. And now it’s our ache. It’s been our ache since we started the process of adopting a little one from Ethiopia. We believe it is the greatest gift…not to give to a child, but to give to ourselves…to see and experience the redemption of Him calling us His own. When we look at the face of that child, to remember the grace and mercy that He extends to us daily, will change our lives every single day. Yes, we will change a child’s life, but this child’s life will change so many. We waited and chose him/her…just as Christ did for us. He chose us. He sacrificed for our salvation…to be named HIS…forever, and I am so grateful.
Ben and I have experienced heartbreak and disappointment. It seems as though we get glimpses of our future and then that hope disappears with a disappointment. It’s been hard to see the bright side of things (which usually comes very natural to both of us). We had and have to choose daily to remember that He has good things in store for us. He has blessed us more than we could ever imagine and we are so grateful. Learning to trust God with your family before you even have one is a challenge, and we are walking in it daily. Sometimes, we have victory and other days we feel defeated, but He is still good. He is still faithful, He is still ours and we are His.
A month or so ago, we received a phone call from lawyer (friend of a friend) about a private adoption. In just 24 hours we found out about a baby boy due March 5, skyped with the birth mother, prayed, cried and 2 days later signed papers to be this sweet baby boy’s parents. We didn’t want to announce it on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or anything really. The subject is so tender for us. There are fears, natural fears with adoption. There are people’s opinion and personal stories of heartbreak, that cloud our thoughts. But there is also this thought…He has provided what He’s promised to us. All of this could fall apart and if so, we got to pray for a precious little boy that will stay in our hearts forever. BUT, this could be wonderful and work out perfectly. That is our heart’s desire and what we believe will come to pass. We count ourselves honored to be chosen to be his parents. We are thrilled, excited, and nervous to be first time parents. 🙂
We are asking that you pray for our little one. We have named him Benjamin Pierce. He will go by Pierce. His name is the combination of the men in the Kilgore/Merrick heritage. He will grow strong and brave. He will know he is loved and cherished everyday. He will change this world through the love he extends daily and He will be the apple of His eye. It is our privilege to share this joy with you. We celebrate his life and his mother’s. We thank God daily for women like her, who choose to give life to their child and hope to parents like us. We are the luckiest. He is faithful.
Thank you for your prayers. We covet them…keep them coming!! Thank you for your encouragement throughout the years. So many of you have held our hand through tears and questions…through the frustrations and pain. We are so grateful for each of you. We ask that you continue to pray. We love you.
Noelle Kilgore's Blog 