Noelle Kilgore's Blog

Lately Ben and I have been dealing with the whole “waiting game” of life.  I think all of us have and still find ourselves in this position…of waiting.  We keep asking ourselves when things will change, have our pity parties, and then find contentment in where God has us…all to do it over again the next week 🙂

I was listening to Shane and Shane’s song “Waiting Room” this morning and found such truth in the lyrics.

“i will run when i cannot walk
i will sing when there is no song
i will pray when there is no prayer
i will listen when i cannot hear

sitting in the waiting room of silence
waiting for that still soft voice i know
offering my words up to the rooftop to Your heart
trusting that this closet’s where You are

Lord i know if i change my mind
You will change my heart in time
Sovereign Lord this time’s from You
so i sit in the waiting room of silence
cause its all about You

i will fight when i cannot feel
i will trust when You dont seem real
i will tell when i cannot speak
i will step when i cannot see”

The chorus “Lord i know if i change my mind, You will change my heart in time. Sovereign Lord this time’s from You, so i sit in the waiting room of silence, cause its all about You” puts things in perspective for me.  Our pastor, Ed Gungor, not too long ago spoke to Ben and I about God using the time of waiting, to really pay attention to what God is trying to show us about ourselves.  He used the example of a baby chick about to hatch.  The chick pecks on the shell until they crack it open.  If you try to help the chick with breaking the egg, they will die.  It’s in the struggle that you get stronger and ready for that time of so-called new birth. This was encouragement for us, but then again, after the encouragement wore off a little, we found ourselves in that same exact place of just wondering when we would receive breakthrough.  You hear people saying that they are just waiting for God to answer their prayer…there’s always an answer…just sometimes we don’t want to hear it.  Mark Gungor spoke on it this past Sunday…”NO” is an answer.  That’s when trust comes into play.

Not admitting weakness has gotten me in a lot of trouble in the past.  It’s a pride thing.  This is me admitting I’m not as strong as I would like.  I’m tired and weary at times.  I see the dreams of my sweet husband’s heart being at a standstill and we  can’t do anything about it.  It’s out of our hands.  That place of desperation is great, but oh, so hard, especially to watch someone you love in the struggle.  I also see the dreams of my heart and Ben’s heart of a having a child, taking longer than we would like…but it’s out of our control.  So what do you do in the meantime?  I know to be still and wait, but I also know that God has put many wonderful things in front of me to be involved in and to not sit around doing nothing waiting for my turn.  I think sometimes during the waiting period, we become selfish. I know I have…I think we all have.

Waiting isn’t punishment.  God doesn’t punish us.  He loves us and longs to give us the desire’s of our hearts. I’m learning to lean into Him. When you lean on something, you depend on whatever you are leaning against to hold you…He’s holding me and in those arms, I find a home, a secure place to tell him all about it. It’s a place of trust and safety.

Lean into Him today…trust His timing and put your hands to what God’s put before you now…every dream has a journey.