Last week, my husband and I released a record “Sacred Songs” and the first track is called “Healing.” Ben wrote this song several years ago but the story behind it most recently, is our personal “healing” story.
As many of you know, we experienced a miscarriage in April. It was during this time, we were in the middle of recording “Sacred Songs.” Ben had been in Norman, mixing, when the doctor called me to tell me we lost the baby. He immediately came home and upon arrival, he put the CD in, and the first track, “Healing” came on. He started singing the song over me. I begged him not to play it, not to sing. I didn’t want to hear those words, let alone sing them. He cried as he sang and we held each other. His healing was very present in that moment, even though it didn’t “feel” it.
I tell this story, not get your sympathy, but so that you might have a better understanding of this song. Many relate this song to a physical healing they are asking God for, but in reality, I believe all of us have healing that needs to take place in our hearts and emotions. It was in that moment, that song became so real to me. I didn’t have the strength to ask, but the song did that for me. That is the power of music. It’s our prayer that as you listen to that song, or any other song, for that matter, that it will aid in your time of inability.
The lyrics “nothing broken, nothing missing” used to be the prayer, Ben, before he was my husband, would pray over me. He would send me texts, just to remind me of the continuous healing God was doing in me. Many negative things had been spoken over me and God’s refreshing reminder was healing to me. He’s doing things in the midst of your pain. The times you might think He’s not present is the closest He’s been to you. Embrace this time to allow God to heal those things in you. Let this song be a help to you. To quote Bob Goff, “our lives are held together with scotch tape, bailing wire, and grace.” Thank you God, that our emotional/spiritual health is resting in His ability, not our own.
This really isn’t to promote our song or record, but to give you a better understanding of our music. These songs are things we’ve walked through. It’s a soundtrack to the redemptive story He is writing in us. Sometimes His healing looks different to us than what we are imagining. He loves to surprise us, to draw us closer. It doesn’t take much, just a simple “help” is enough for Him. He longs to rescue you. Be encouraged.
Noelle Kilgore's Blog 
Dear sweet Noelle. Your soul is so precious and I thank you for your story and your music. I am truly sorry for your loss and I am astounded by your claity and understanding of his plan. You always remind me of the grace he gives. I understand what it feels like to hurt and to want to stay within that, but your grace and choice to share of yourself and find the underlying love is so profound to me. It reminds me that his love goes so much deeper than we are even able to wrap our heads around. If ever there was a devine plan at work it is here. I know it doesnt always make sense, but it will. You and Ben are in my heart. Thank you for your wisdom and sharing today, I love you!
Sometimes I fall asleep at night listening to Sacred Songs. I learned about your loss earlier this year and everytime I hear your songs, it makes me want to pray hard because I want your dreams to come true. And I will continue to pray until they do.
thank you so much for sharing. I check your blog almost every day and I’m so thankful to hear from you again. praying for you and ben. can’t wait to hear the album! thank you so much for the encouraging words today.
Noelle, I just wanted to tell you how much Sacred Songs has meant to me. After I got it and couldn’t quit listening to it, I was telling people they needed to get it, but in trying to tell them how great it was, I didn’t feel like I could even really express it–as a friend put it, “it puts words to our faith”. As someone who hasn’t heard any “Christian” music that I really wanted to listen to in a long time, it’s just so refreshing. So thank you guys.
And, it’s interesting that you mention Healing not just talking about physical healing, but also our heart and emotions, because that’s exactly how it speaks to me right now.
So thank you! (We actually have several friends in common–I’m from Norman, and have grown up with Chad and Nathan, the Blackwatch guys and gals, etc.)