This past year has brought about many changes for my family. One of those being that my parents no longer own the house we grew up in, and so at Christmas time, my mom gave each of us a big bin with tons of memories from our bedrooms. So many things came to mind as I looked through this box. I now have my violin from when I was 3 and 4 and even my baby booties from the day I was born. She made a photo album for each of us starting at birth to where we are now. One of the pages had pictures of me from junior high and high school and letters from friends with some ticket stubs and things like that. Since then, I can’t quit thinking about high school and wish I would have known what I know now. I know all of us say that. I mean, I say it when I’m referring to 2 years ago. But for some crazy reason, key statements have come to mind, so I decided I would start a little series on my blog discussing what I wish I would have known. So this is for young girls, or maybe even single women…
When I was in junior high and high school, I was known as the good girl. The girl that most guys wouldn’t touch with a 10 ft. pole (one, because I had a protective older brother) but mostly because of my values and upbringing. I was proud of who I was and took very strong stands on what I believed and in what I would and would not participate in. When it came to boys, I just knew I wasn’t something they chased after. This isn’t a pity party at all, but when you’re at that age, and you want to feel pretty and popular, usually the first indication is what the boys say about you. I had lots of guy friends. Sometimes it was easier to be friends with guys than girls at that age, because you don’t have the drama…at least not as much. I was referred to as sweet, nice, cute…those are all great things but sometimes you just wanted to be that girl you heard the guys talk about. Not in a perverted way, just in admiration. I had a conversation with one of my guy friends my senior year and he told me “Noelle, you’re not the kind of girl that guys like to date. You’re the kind of girl, guys want to marry.” Sounds great, but at that moment, you just kinda want to be the girl they want to date 🙂 I mean, not many guys are looking to marry in high school.
I say this because now, looking back, I’m glad I was that girl. To the young junior high and high school girls, and single women…be that girl. I know it may seem like it’s not what you want, but trust me, it’s what you want. There’s a fight for your destiny and it starts with the choices you make now. God’s redemption and mercy is so sweet. Even when you make wrong choices, it doesn’t derail you. It just delays you. I’ve messed up and made some wrong choices. God’s given me back what I lost, but I experienced hurt and rejection that didn’t have to be apart of my story. My choices made for some crazy chapters in my life.
Something that helped me when I was younger, is I had women in my life that I looked up to that I saw live that out before me. To women out there with young eyes on you…be that woman. We need more of you. Surround yourself with good friends and quality people. Value who you are, the way you dress, what you wear, how you speak…it puts value on you. You deserve the world and back. Be proud to be the girl guys want to marry and not just have a fling with. Aspire to be that girl. I know it might seem lonely, but there’s a man just dying to be with you for the rest of your life, but he won’t value you, unless you value yourself. I know it’s easier said than done. I just see the fight for wholesomeness in this society and it’s losing. It can change. You can change. Your life can change. Be that girl
And men, value those types of girls. It doesn’t just come naturally. It’s a choice they make daily. Be the man that encourages goodness in women.
i was the same way in school, growing up
Amen! I’ve had the blessing of mentoring college girls the last 6 years. I love it! I encourage them as they walk b/c its hard! In a world where instant gratification is what everyone desires, I try to get them to see the big pictures. They may not be the ones that are turning the guys heads at church RIGHT NOW, but you want a man to see you for who you are and your godly character….not what you’re wearing (or lack of what you’re wearing). Waiting for God’s perfect timing makes life so much better. Not to rush into marriage b/c they think it will bring “security”. These girls think they should be married, engaged or at least dating the man they will marry by the time they get their diploma. I encourage them to really seek the Lord about this decision b/c its life-changing…and it can be amazing and wonderful and breath-taking IF you will be obedient to the Lord and His timing! I’m so thankful that I was a “good girl” in high school. I say the same thing all the time about wishing I knew back then what I know now. I love this idea of you writing about those things! Look forward to reading more!